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One of the best things about starting college is that you’ll get to dive headfirst into a new environment. It’s a time when you move to a new town, learn new skills, and meet new people. Part of this is living with a set of characters that you’ve probably never met before.

It’s likely that you’re going to form lifelong friendships with your housemates, but we’re going to give you a heads-up as to the types of people that you’ll live with throughout your time at college.

The Food-Hoover

If you think your food is safe in your designated cupboard, then think again, because you are almost definitely living with the Food-Hoover. This character is the master of disguise; they could be any one of your housemates, but you just don’t know which one it is yet. At some point throughout the year, everyone will be the victim of the Food-Hoover, even the Food-Hoover themselves – this is how they conceal their identity so well, playing the victim until the time is right.

You go to bed safe in the knowledge that you’ve got a pack of premium sausages to start the day with tomorrow, but you are wrong. The Food-Hoover has struck once again: in the dead of night they’ve used your sausages, bread, bacon, and eggs.

Note: If this isn’t familiar, then the Food-Hoover is probably you!

The Gap Year-er

Imagine it’s your first day of college. You and your parents have loaded up the car, made the long (or short) drive to your new city, ready to start afresh. You put your key in the door and swing it open. Who is this rugged-looking chap sitting on the couch? Hair in a bun. Beard in a pony. Tie-dye baggy pants. Backpack on the floor. This can only be the Gap Year-er – a not-so-rare breed that took a year or so out between school and college to travel the world and broaden their horizons.

If you couldn’t tell this character from their appearance, you’ll know it soon enough, because every one of their stories begins with “This one time in Asia…”. They are spiritualised beings, connected to nature and the cultures of the world. Keep in mind that their learned ways will genuinely come in useful if you’re ever in a crisis.

Note: They may also be the Food-Hoover.

The Party Animal

Everyone likes to let loose when they go to college, but some people do so more than others. The Party Animal is the latter. They were probably more like the Bookworm before they started their studies, but now they’ve changed. They’ve become a hardcore rave monster who can handle more alcohol in one night than you can handle in a week (really, don’t try to keep up).

A night out with the Party Animal can go one of two ways: you either have the best or the earliest night of your life. They’ll carry on until it’s light outside, so you should hope that you’re not in the next room or you’ll forget what sleep feels like.

The Bookworm

When you’re trying to figure out how to do a headstand and drink a beer at the same time, the Bookworm is in their room revising for next week’s test. This doesn’t mean that they’re boring – no, that status is reserved for the Parent of the group. In fact, the Bookworm has their priorities right, and they know when to knuckle down rather than hit the town.

When the Bookworm isn’t in study mode, you might want to try keeping them entertained. You may need their help when exam season hits.

The Parent

College is a time when you can find out what it’s like to be independent and look after yourself for the first time. Without your parents telling you what to do, there’s a good chance that you’re going to act a little irresponsibly. Think again, because every flat has a parental figure who is there to keep you all in line.

The Parent won’t hesitate in telling you that what you’re doing is unsafe, irresponsible, or generally out of order. You’ll feel like they’re being boring, but remember that they are like this because they care about you. Stay on their good side, because it’s guaranteed that the Parent will be the one who looks after you when you have a bit too much to drink.

Staying on Top of College Life

There are a few things that you’ll learn about college life as time goes on, but for everything else, keep an eye on our blog.